There are several things in my life that I am blessed by, but because they are so consistent, it takes effort and intention to be thankful for them. Because they are so consistent, you don’t notice them…until they’re gone. Yet, I am blessed enough that they have not been gone.
A few examples:
Parental empowerment/approval – The fact that I knew my parents approved of me, loved me, and were proud of me, was a fact that empowered me to keep boundaries against negative adults in my teenage and young adult years. I know people whose feeling of approval was threatened by the changing of the wind. But mine wasn’t. I had a “confidence anchor” that I know many were not blessed with…and I would be a different person without that.
Companionship – The reason the dating phase is so exciting, yet stressful, is because of the uncertainty. When you learn that someone you are interested in wants to be your companion as well, it is exciting because it takes away the lingering uncertainty and loneliness. Because of this, a loyal, unwavering, loving spouse is not “exciting” by those terms…and it’s easy to forget that “romantic void” feeling that was the only reality you ever knew when you were single.
Financial security – As a wedding present, Sarah and I were gifted Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University by my old instructor. As a result of this, I learned to stop being a rampant credit card spender (like, rampant, I’m telling you) and start to budget, plan, and actually have a modicum of self-control. Because of this gift, Sarah and I learned to do the Baby Steps and build an emergency fund early on. Ramsey said, concerning the importance of the emergency fund and having some financial security, “Men, your wife has a security gland in her brain. It is connected directly to her face.” It has been a long time, thanks to Dave Ramsey, since we’ve only been one low paycheck away from disaster. But I know that this is not true for a great many families. It is a blessing, one that I would not have come by without Dave Ramsey’s FPU and a wife that keeps me accountable.
There are other blessings that come and go. There are people, and gifts, and situations that we feel blessed by. But since they come and go, it is easier to picture life without them. But the consistent blessings are the ones that are easy to take for granted.
And that’s what’s on my mind this Christmas.
Christmas, the celebration of the Father sending His Son to us to be born as a baby, is a celebration of a one-time event that changed everything. But what is so interesting to me is that once a year, we celebrate this one-time event that affects 365.25 days of my year. Fact is, everything that is true during Christmas is also true for the rest of the year. It is consistent.
And there are some direct effects on me. My framework for life. My psyche. My security. My purpose. There are consistent truths that are not realized by everybody.
Unchanging truth: Christmas shows me my value to God. God sent His Son for me. My value does not go up and down like a stock. Not everybody feels their value. I am able to because of Christmas.
Unchanging truth: The Gospel presents “Grace” rather than “Striving”. A criticism of Christianity is that it is a very poor sociological tool. A good sociological tool rewards good works and punishes bad works. But Christianity was never intended to be a sociological tool…any good works a Christian does is meant to glorify God, not avoid punishment or earn salvation. Other worldviews have people always questioning their standing (am I good or bad?), striving for a level of ethics or morality. Christianity answers that by “providing me Someone Else’s goodness”.
Unchanging truth: When everything else fades, I still have purpose. My purpose is not rooted in my career, my family, my physical or mental skills. In any situation I find myself in, I can glorify the Risen Son of God.
It is my observation that self-destructive behaviors come in bunches when someone loses their sense of purpose. This is part of what makes a “mid-life crisis” so difficult…when one’s purpose/identity is found in the career they do or the kids they are raising, then that purpose goes away when the career starts to focus on the young up-and-comers or the kids start to become adults and move out.
Since my purpose is not found in “phases of life”, my purpose is an unchanging truth.
These things are constant realities for me…but I know that they are not constant realities for others who haven’t grabbed onto them. So it’s hard for me to imagine not having that…but I try to.
I am thankful.
The birth of Christ changed everything…but it changed the whole year, every year, every day.
I hope that you never know purposelessness. I hope that you never know worthlessness. And I hope that you never wonder whether you cut it or not.
What I know is that never knowing those things is possible in Jesus.
Merry Christmas, and God Bless.